A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

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What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

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What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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Jimmy Saville

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

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How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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