Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

What's the difference between a duck?

Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

Q:Who has the highest K/D ratio in Call of Duty World at War A: Hitler, 6000000/1

Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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