what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

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What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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why did the black guy kill the white guy. the white guy killed his family.

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Your mom went to college

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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