Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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their was a black man in my family tree hes still hanging on

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

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Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

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Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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