So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

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What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

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What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

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Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

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How many babies does it take to fill a ditch? Six if you pack them in really tight.

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What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

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What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

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45.

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What happened to the man who was raking leaves? He kept his yard clean and felt great about his hard work.

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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