On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your mother is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

11111

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken crossed the ro- oh hell naw she crossed it.... No more chicken jokes, guys!!! She crossed it!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

ceiling mounted bonerss CC

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

French people.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops