What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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what does nike and the kkk have in common? Nothing as one is a brand of clothing ie;shoes, hoodies, etc. while the other is a racist cult formed in the 19th century which persecuted african americans.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

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YOLO

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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I love you very much.

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

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mitt romney

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops