What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

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How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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