How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

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What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and an astronaut? One walks on the moon and the other has sex with little boys.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops