Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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Here's a joke The Holocaust.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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