99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

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a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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What Is somthing that is 5 "5" and white A 5 "5" white person

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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The Mets win the World Series

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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