Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

what happens when you wake up inception

I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

You are on a street. there are 4 houses, a red one, a blue one, a green one, and a white one. The red man lives in the red house, the blue man lives in the blue house. the green man lives in the green house. Who lives in the white house? The president

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

What happened to the village that got swept by a tsunami? It was destroyed.

Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

How many babies does it take to fill a ditch? Six if you pack them in really tight.

Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

Womens Sports

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

There's two bears in a bathtub, One looks at the other and says "hey can you pass the soap?" the other bear says "what do i look like a light bulb?"

Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

youre gay

Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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