Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

wanna hear a joke? no

thumb_up thumb_down -83

What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

thumb_up thumb_down -135

Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Q:Which side of a chicken has more feathers? A:The outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +36

theres a fat guy

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

The joke below me is retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +26

a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops