Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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YOLO

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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Hi Danny it's Louis Tehe

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

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What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? ...Finding the same joke int he Inti-Joke.

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The AIDS patient was gay

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The economy.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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