Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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Women drivers...

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what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

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Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

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Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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Why did the Asian Kid pass his test? He studied hard.

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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i want to meet Dora's parents and ask them why they let that bitch go everywhere

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dead dibbs

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How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping one white girl? You call the police.

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What do you call a man with a diploma? A high school graduate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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