theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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why did the black guy buy magnum condoms? because his white friend knew the cashier and thought it would be awkward for himself to buy them.

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Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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''In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, 'If you want to go forward you put your car in 'D.' If you want to go backward, you put your car in 'R.'' But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F'd.''

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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What do you get when you cross a Dachshund and a Nazi? Bestiality. Ew.

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops