Stephen Hawking can walk

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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why did joe diragi cross the road there was food on the other side

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A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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what did the chinese man say to the other asian? he said ??????

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson bleeding, I spelled " red" wrong

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did Billy Bob kidnap Jamal? Because he finds the African American community fascinating and is unable to start up a regular conversation due to the over-amplified stereotype that rednecks usually kidnap and/or kill black people. Therefore, kidnapping Jamal was necessary so that he could have a conversation with him about his heritage and background.

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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