How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

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So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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What happened when the black man tried to cross the road Nothin. He tripped on a bug trying to get on the edge

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There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

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How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Most of her friends have encouraged her to contact the IRS about this to see if she can start a repayment plan for her back-taxes or obtain some sort of federal assistance. Otherwise, Ms. Keller is likely to suffer serious legal consequences.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

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I love it when i go into my classroom first thing in the morning, and the light are off... i always feel so Empowered... i walk in, and say Let There Be Light! while i lift my arms up and there was light.... omg! im god! O_O

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

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whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

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Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

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Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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what is funnier than 24.....?????? 69. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE ME AND YOUR MAMA

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What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

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Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

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What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops