Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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What Do You Call A Black Guy Surrounded By Nine White Guys With Bats? Jackie Robinson.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in an apple within a worm inside your apple...

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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Your adopted.....

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Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

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What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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Roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry show me your tits!!

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops