A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Violets are actually purple or white

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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Why did little Susie fall off the cliff? I pushed her.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

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What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

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What's both fun and a scam? -The holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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