What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

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How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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Nero, I have 30 million dollars left, lets split them and leave ground zero behind us, I know it would make me happy to share them with you.

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When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

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There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

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I'm not gay (phrase) - A phrase commonly used by straight men.

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Coke or Pepsi? Trick question, beer.

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XD Jackass.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops