You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? a stick

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Vaginas are like? books. You stick your dick in them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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Your adopted.....

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yay for the idiot that posted "whats white, sticky and yummy? milk". WTF dude? milk has never been sticky and good at the same time and its never going to be. infact, ive never known milk to be sticky, maybe after such a long period of being spoiled the milk becomes somewhat sticky, but your attempt at creating a perverted joke that wasnt in anyway funny or even close to being correct was so poor i feel the need to post this and hope you read it and decide returning to school would be beneficial to the rest of your life. I guarantee everyone who reads your post about milk being sticky is thinking something pretty similar to what i am.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops