how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? a stick

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Vaginas are like? books. You stick your dick in them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops