roses are red turtles are random. cancer

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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A black man goes down to Alabama in the 1960s; He gets lynched.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

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Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

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An Asian with a big dick.

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SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

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A gay man walks down a street before being stabbed to death by a homophobe.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

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I love alchohol!

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poopy is poopy

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im not food

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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