Your mom.

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a black person? They have different skin colors.

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

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Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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