Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Where does the Queen of England live? England.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

2 guys are in a bar joking and having a good time. One guy looks to the other and says, "So...HOWS your wife?" The man replies "...She died in a horrible car accident." The man's friend then says "...I am sorry to hear that.." "Yeah I know I wish that God damn rat wasn't in the road goddamn fucker"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down -18

AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the friend say to the other friend? A. Hi friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Like this if you have a big diick like me Dislike if you have a baby diick Ignore if you're a girl and get back in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I work at jcpenny

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops