What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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96

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

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Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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chinga tue madre Ryan

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How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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