A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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Did you hear about the 2 pretzels walking down the street? It's not true, pretzels are not capable of autonomous movement.

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where's mom I killed her

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Mahmy

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A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

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Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

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Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

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Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

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What do you call it? Whatever it is.

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

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Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

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roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

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Niggas be like you ugly and you playing hard to get, yo ass already hard to want!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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