What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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What do you call your mother? Mom.

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

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How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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