"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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Poop.

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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