So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

666

A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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