You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

It's funny, because she's twice his size!

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

The AIDS patient was gay

what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

Why did the chicken crossed the ro- oh hell naw she crossed it.... No more chicken jokes, guys!!! She crossed it!!!

Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walks on the moon and the other f*cks little boys.

What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

Yah? Well your a ********

Hitler. lol, sucks.

Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...