A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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A man walks into a bar. Itwas an metal bar so the man was hurt.

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Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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What do you call a Mexican hockey player? A hockey player.

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops