Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

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Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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You're on fire.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

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how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

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A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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a man walks into a bar and dies

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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