Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

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To the person who wrote the dislike joke: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH GOOD FAIL!

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops