Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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Animal

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Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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