what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Womens rights

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How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

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Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the baby die? It got shot.

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Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

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Your eye color is very unique.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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