- Anti Joke

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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