Why did the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

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MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops