Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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I like turtoes.

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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A hayride would be fun.

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Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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A Mexican, and Arab and an American are on a plane. The the plane is going down. It hits a mountain and crashes. But there was also a lot of other people on the plane. Families, children, loved ones. It was huge a disaster.

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Itookasipasoda

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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The economy.

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

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why is billy g is really supid because he gets bad grades

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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