How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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Why did the chickecross the roe? Because I was bein chased by an angry group o mobsters that 8 years ago were busted by the chicken when he was still working for NYPD and found them all in an ally and busted them for later discovered tax evasion and then 2 years later they found a way ou of prison and tracked down the chicken for 6 years until they found him in road island 4509 lake side estates and then proceeded to chase him onto and across a road that was near by to his lake side apartment and then they go tire and we. Back to their HQ in NY and then the leader of the gang went home and in a depression fuels rage mersiouy beat his wife then went up stairs and threw his 9 year old son out the window and hanged himself. The chicken also died because 8 years is at the top of their lifespan.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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Howdy stranger.... It is time for you to join! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! Moral: "HEY YOU! STFU! STFU! STFU! STFU!"

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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What color is a banana? yellow.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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lebron

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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Gale swallows.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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