Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

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why couldnt hellen keller drive? cuz she was blind

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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your going to die

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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What do you get when you cross an l with a line? A t.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can.

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

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Good to see you today!

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops