Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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Jesus

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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