A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike when you eat them they die

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what is not funny? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

thumb_up thumb_down +12

your going to die

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you make a joke act like yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chickecross the roe? Because I was bein chased by an angry group o mobsters that 8 years ago were busted by the chicken when he was still working for NYPD and found them all in an ally and busted them for later discovered tax evasion and then 2 years later they found a way ou of prison and tracked down the chicken for 6 years until they found him in road island 4509 lake side estates and then proceeded to chase him onto and across a road that was near by to his lake side apartment and then they go tire and we. Back to their HQ in NY and then the leader of the gang went home and in a depression fuels rage mersiouy beat his wife then went up stairs and threw his 9 year old son out the window and hanged himself. The chicken also died because 8 years is at the top of their lifespan.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

thumb_up thumb_down -62

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops