A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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Miami Heat.

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if i'm white and you're white, then who took my car keys?

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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