If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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who farted i did :]

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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