Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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Jesus wept.

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

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what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

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What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

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Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

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Kony 2012

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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