Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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