What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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