Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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The NBA lockout

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face", the horse replies I have an extra 21st chromosome.

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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