Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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What's the number one killer in America? Death.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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