A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Why did hitler kill all the Jews? He is racist

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Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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Whats 9 + 10 19

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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Politics.

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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