What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -87

All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

thumb_up thumb_down -133

A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

What was wrong with the black guy? He was black

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

why did the black man drown? he cant swim

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops